BUST

OK. I am just letting you all know I cheated today. "How did it go?" You all ask?  Not like I imagined it. I am actually a bit happy and disappointed.

I imagined more feelings for the food than what was really there actually. I mean I had full fantasies of eating before I went to bed on this diet. Then I take the chance to do it and I don't want to. I was happy because now I get it. When I ate that food it didn't taste like anything really really really amazing like I had planned in my mind.
The food I ate which was a sandwich and a cookie, actually tasted like crap!
I've eaten this food before and have actually loved it before. I just don't know how to describe this...

I'm glad in a way that I did it. I didn't eat like I would have usually. I was able to eat what ever I wanted and I still ate differently. My mind was not talking the same with my stomach like it usually did. It was more like, my brain was board of eating. "Why am I eating still!?!"

I don't feel like I needed to gorge out on food. When I was done I felt awful. I felt like I had a head ache. I felt just
"Icky". It was no where near as rewarding as losing weight felt. It was no where near as rewarding as this clean feeling I had.
So, tomorrow I am expecting a gain. And I will not be mad at myself. Or beat myself up about it. (although if it is a gain hopefully it will be just a small one  ::crossing fingers::.

I feel like it was good that I did that. I get to share my experience with you all. Then to top it off, I just felt so gross I never want to stray away... I thought it WOULD have been worth it, Actually wasn't

It's like this people: 

See I'm Brad Pitt, And I got this awesome sexy all American sweetheart Jennifer Aniston

*or my Hcg diet.
Food Is Angelina Jolie. Do I cheat on Aniston and go for Jolie?

Well knowing he did and now wants Jennifer back is kind of how I feel with food and this diet. HA HA HA
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